“The Earth just recorded its shortest day since atomic clocks began.”

“My wife was struggling to find the words ‘magic wand’ and instead came up with ‘abracadabra stick’.”

“The Platinum Jubilee flypast for the Queen was impressive but slightly muted.”

“Twice on one bus journey the driver ejected people whose payment method failed.”

“Kat tells me she hasn't been bullied or persecuted for being Russian, which is good news.”

“0n Junior Bake-Off the 10-year-old child's behaviour and attitude remind me too much of our prime minister.”

“Outside has been another place for the past two weeks. Staying indoors just seemed like the safest thing to do.”